In His NBA Era
NBA Players as Taylor Swift Albums
In case you haven’t heard, Taylor Swift announced her 12th studio album, The Life of a Showgirl, earlier this week. She made the confetti-filled reveal on her football-playing boyfriend’s podcast, New Heights. She’s in her sports era.
So I wondered, what NBA players would be in the Taylor Swift eras? Well luckily I live with a Swiftie, who also happens to know a lot about basketball. My fiancé Ellen knows all of Taylor’s discography, front and back, and together we went through each album and matched an NBA player.
We based them on the general ~vibes~ of the album and player, though we did take specific album and song names, genres, and numerology into account. Are You Ready For It?
Taylor Swift (Debut Album)
Key Tracks:
Tim McGraw
Teardrops on My Guitar
Mary’s Song
I’m Only Me When I’m With You
While she’s mostly known as a pop star these days, Taylor Swift did of course start as a country artist, discovered in Nashville, Tennessee. Her self-titled debut is the countriest of her albums, so of course we had to go with the countriest of NBA players, Mr. Bruce Brown:
Fearless
Key Tracks:
Love Story
You Belong with Me
Fifteen
White Horse
Players of the Anthony Edwards, Kevin Garnett ilk jump to mind when I hear the word “fearless”. But Ellen pointed out, patiently, that Fearless is really more awkward high school vibes. The introverted, unpopular girl sharing her big dreams and discovering herself along the way.
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Nikola Jokić, a bumbling, media averse guy who couldn’t care less if he was popular, is perfect for the Fearless era. Plus there’s a song about a horse!1 If you did want to take the title literally, the pairing still works: I can’t imagine Jokić is ever scared knowing his brother has his back.
The song “Fifteen” was actually written about Carmelo Anthony I think, who wore #15 for the Nuggets when Fearless came out. Now, Jokić wears it and Taylor would be happy with the numerology.
Speak Now
Key Tracks:
Back to December
Enchanted
The Story of Us
Better than Revenge
Speak Now, Ellen’s favorite album, was Taylor’s response to the critics. Her first two albums catapulted her to fame, but some claimed it was only because she got the opportunity to work with talented writers like Liz Rose and Hillary Lindsey. Surely she couldn’t write a hit album by herself? Speak Now was her mic drop.
Despite finishing among the top six players in NBA MVP voting for each of the last four seasons, Jayson Tatum has a looot of haters. People constantly argue over whether he’s even the best player on his team, and said he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, win. Tatum had his mic drop moment with the 2024 NBA title. What they gonna say now?
Red
Key Tracks:
I Knew You Were Trouble
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
Begin Again
22
Red is about falling into relationships with the wrong people, getting hurt, breaking up, and all the emotions along the way. No player has been in more promising-gone-sour relationships than Jimmy Butler III.
After starting his career in Chicago, Jimmy was traded to the Timberwolves and arrived in Minnesota to much fanfare, but just two seasons later he was publicly demanding a breakup. He escaped to Philly, then a stint in Miami, which once again ended with him asking for a trade in the messiest way possible. In this comparison I guess Pat Riley is Jake Gyllenhaal? Anyway, Jimmy has gotten to begin again in the Bay Area and is hoping he can find what Taylor has found with Travis. Oh and he wore #22!
1989
Key Tracks
Blank Space
Style
Wildest Dreams
Shake It Off
Everyone in and around basketball has given their opinion on the Luka Dončić trade, but we often forget about Luka’s emotions. He was beloved in the city of Dallas, and he loved being there. As shocking as it was to the outside world, Luka must have felt hurt, and angry, and sad to have to uproot.
Now he’s got bad blood with one Nico Harrison, and is getting his revenge. His first game back in Dallas gave us the Nico-stare, but Luka shook it off with a 19 point, 15 rebound, 12 assist triple double, which I ranked as a top 5 “revenge game” all time.
Accorded to Ellen, 1989 is “pop bangers, anthemic, timeless, stylish, and Hollywood glam”. He may not be playing in New York, but Luka was welcomed to LA and fits right into this era.
reputation
Key Tracks:
…Ready for It?
Look What You Made Me Do
End Game
Delicate
reputation is Taylor Swift’s most aggressive, grittiest album. She goes after her rivals, and even former friends, through her lyrics, taking down anyone that dared to stand in her path. Kobe Bryant once literally ran through his teammate. Kobe didn’t care for pleasantries or friendship when it came to his craft; he would tell it to you like it was, then get down to business. His work ethic was unparalleled, and facing him in practice or a game - it didn’t matter to Kobe - has been cited by a number of his peers as their “welcome to the NBA” moment. This was a man fully dedicated to the grind and to perfecting himself on the court.
That said, Kobe did have a delicate side that came out in retirement. He was a famous “Girl Dad”, sitting court side at WNBA games with his daughters, and I’m sure he sat through a lot of tea parties at home. Under the surface, reputation is a love album, and Kobe certainly showed, and received a lot of love in his life. Just not to Dwight Howard …
Lover
Key Tracks:
I Forgot That You Existed
Cruel Summer
The Archer
It’s Nice to Have a Friend
You Need to Calm Down2
This one was a little harder, but I landed on Lauri Markkanen for the Lover era. His blonde hair just reminds me of Taylor’s bleach blonde look on the Lover album cover. His nickname is The Markksman, which is kind of like an archer.3 And until you read his name at the beginning of this paragraph you probably forgot that he exists in the league, on the lowliest-of-low Jazz. It would be nice if they could find a friend who was good at basketball to join him in Utah.
folklore & evermore
Key Tracks:
cardigan
august
willow
champagne problems
folklore and evermore were released within six months of one another in 2020, and are the quietest, most meditative of Taylor’s projects. They are a master class in creative storytelling. They’re maybe not the first choice listen for many Swifties, but they are critical to her range and overall success as an artist. They’re not the superstar, they’re the guys you need around him or her to win a championship. They are Jrue Holiday and Kris Middleton on the 2021 Bucks.
They are both mature albums, but in different ways. folklore is more about looking back to a younger self, recognizing the mistakes that were made and drama that was fraught over, but finding peace with were it got you - aka Jrue looking back on his “Process” days in Philadelphia while winning his second championship with the Celtics. evermore is grown up, but still making the same mistakes - aka Kris signing up to play for the Wizards.
Midnights
Key Tracks
Anti-Hero
Mastermind
Lavender Haze
Bejeweled
Midnights is a complex, beautiful album. There is a lot going on, lots of inner workings all meticulously planned, but done in such a way that you’re not distracted by the finer points, and can just absorb the artistry in awe. It sounds effortless.
Of everyone to have ever played in the NBA, Kevin Durant may be the single player that makes the game look the easiest. He moves like he’s gliding through space and his jumper is one of the most beautiful things in basketball. It looks like he was born with that smoothness, but it’s only natural because of the incessant work he has put in behind the scenes.
He talked about this idea with LeBron James, and listening to them I was thinking, “Wow, basketball is such an easy game. They just go out and hoop” one minute, and the next I’m like “there’s 84 things they have to keep in their head every second of every game!”4
The Tortured Poet’s Department
Key Tracks:
Fortnight
Down Bad
But Daddy I Love Him
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
If Russell Westbrook isn’t the most tortured genius on the court, I don’t know who is. He is one of the most talented, dynamic, physically gifted athletes in basketball history, and has accomplished a lot in his 17-year career. He’s known as a guy who can do it all, becoming the first player in over 50 years to average a triple-double for a full season.
And yet. And yet. With his genius comes chaos. Russ will make a ridiculous pass no one else would even see, let alone attempt, and then he’ll throw the ball right away. He’ll miss a lay up instead of dribbling out the game then foul a three point shooter as the clock expires in one game, then gamble and come up with a crazy athletic, game-securing steal in another. That’s the full Russell Westbrook experience.
Tortured Poet’s Department: The Anthology also has a lot going on. At 31 songs, it’s trying to do it all, and can be chaotic at times. It has a lot of forgettable songs, alongside instant favorites like “Fortnight”. You’re not sure where it’s going, or how it’s going to get there, but that’s what makes it exciting. You sometimes want it to do less, but no you don’t. Not really.
The Life of a Showgirl
Which brings us to Taylor’s latest album, The Life of a Showgirl. The album isn’t out until 10/3, but we did learn a few things about it from the New Heights podcast. Namely the title, album artwork, track list, co-writers, and that it features banger after banger, per Travis Kelce.
Stephen Curry makes defenders look silly, and has fun doing it. He’ll make sure everyone else is having fun while doing it. He is the greatest showman in the NBA, maybe in sports. Whether it’s the look away three, the “Scream” face or “Night Night” celebrations, or just the pure joy he exudes, Steph Curry, like Taylor Swift, knows how to get a fan base excited. Taylor Swift is putting out bangers on the album, while Steph has been responsible for the most Mike Breen “Bang!”s of all time.
So there you have it. 12 NBA players in the 12 Taylor Swift eras:
Ellen tells me “White Horse” is not, in fact, about a horse, but what the horse represents. Anyway, still a horse track.
If I had the stamina to do a player for every song, "You Need to Calm Down” would obviously be Draymond Green.
By the way, elite nicknames for Lauri: The Finnisher, Lauri Legend, Lauri Bird, The Marksman. All 10/10.
Also KD is known to like bejeweled things (ring chasing), and I think it’s funnily ironic that he was most recently on the Suns while in the Midnights era.